I’ve had it up to here with the aliens from Independence Day

The aliens that attacked the Earth in Independence Day are so dumb. Like, I’ve seen some stupid invasions in my time, but these aliens really do take the cake for just being sheer idiots about it.

How could a species of alien with the technology to send a gigantic mothership from god knows where in the galaxy to earth, manage to be defeated so badly by our primitive human weapons? I can only assume that they are a race of deeply stupid aliens, with no strategic cunning whatsoever.

I mean, let’s just consider the tactical advantages they had over the human race when they got here.

First of all, they arrived just prior to July 4 — meaning that much of the United States of America was preparing for a big celebratory public holiday. President Bill Pullman even references this when he mobilises the US military to respond to this alien threat. Half the armed forces are on holidays, he laments, and the US had to call them back to duty. He needn’t have bothered, these aliens are so incompetent, he probably could have just gone ahead with the celebrations anyway and still had time to mop up their ridiculous space ships.

Or what about the fact that they were broadcasting a signal through our satellites, thus allowing Jeff Goldblum to detect it. What a rookie error to make! You’d think, given that one of the aliens later claims that they travel from world to world depleting them of resources, that they’d have figured out a better way to communicate with each other. Idiots — I wonder sometimes if Earth was actually their first attempted invasion, because it was so poorly managed.

And somehow after their stupid alien pilot gets knocked out of the sky by Will Smith’s PARACHUTE — because as if they’d have some sort of alien sensor and just had to rely on eyesight to fly — Will Smith simply PUNCHES IT UNCONSCIOUS. Through it’s biomechanics armour! That armour must be the shittest armour ever invented, which reinforces my view that these hapless aliens have never invaded a planet before.

In fact, what the hell computers were they using that Jeff Goldblum could upload a WINDOWS 95 VIRUS to them, having flown a ship that had been missing for FIFTY YEARS straight inside of their central thing without raising any alarm bells? Hello, get some verification codes, it’s not hard! Basic communication 101 — if you have highly classified military operations going on, at least have a password. What a pack of fools.

For all their advanced technology, they couldn’t detect that Will Smith’s stolen ship went missing 5 decades prior, that it was carrying two humans, that there was no communications or passwords, and that it had a NUCLEAR BOMB on board. These aliens are SHIT.

And the crowning glory is the insane weakness of their primary weapon for blowing up cities. All it takes is one suicide bomber, Randy Quaid, to fly into it just as its about to fire and THE WHOLE SHIP EXPLODES. Pretty sure that’s a massive design flaw right there, and win win for the human race: no more alien ship or Randy Quaid.

Oh no, I’ve had it with these stupid aliens. They’re just aggressive jerks.